“I’m So Confused… What Should I Do?” Is not an uncommon question in a healing practice.
I often have people come to me requesting healing work who are in a state of some confusion. So I thought it might be helpful to explain a key concept which could bring about a lot of clarity on our paths, and often provide hope and a renewed sense of direction for many. The world famous book, "A Course in Miracles," devotes many lessons in its workbook explaining the confusion we often have around this subject. It addresses the essential need to understand the correct priority of deciding between “a Means” vs. “an Ends” for dealing with our problems. Let’s explain this querry…
I always begin a healing session asking people... "What would you like as an outcome for our session today?"
This seems like a simple question, but it often sends people reeling... and into a state of utter helpless confusion. So many people begin explaining what is wrong in their lives, or they provide a symptom list, or explain all that is bothering them. Very few people provide an immediate clear decisive answer to the question. It often takes some time for them to think, hash out, and brood over what they truly want -- what their actual goal is. They begin to ask themsleves, "Ending up feeling how or what will make me happy? What DO I want?"
I had a healing client in today asking, "I don't know what to do or work on in the relationship between my friend and I? I don't understand what our problem is..." The client then proceeded to give me a long history and list of issues which were plaguing them. When I simply asked the question, "What goal do you have in your relationship together?" it provided immediately clarity in their situation, and after choosing our goal, the session proceeded smoothly thereafter to a beautiful conclusion.
I have discovered that as soon as I clearly picture a goal in mind, the path to reach that goal lights up — rather obviously. For example, if we are sitting in a car, and we find ourselves driving around aimlessly or confused, all we have to do is decide where we want to go, and the route then becomes obvious. Prior to that, there is only a lot of jarbled thoughts and unclarity. With a goal in mind, it doesn't matter if we encounter road blocks, traffic lights, detours, or any challenges along the way, we continue to see our next step at every juncture, revealing what to do to bring us to our desired goal.
A goal sets the direction, but then we may need more than the faculties we are equipped with to reach that goal. With the example above, when driving in a familiar locality, we may be easily able to reach our goal with the knowledge we already have. However, in unfamiliar territory, we may need additional help. A roadmap, asking knowledgable people for directions, or ideally a tool such as a GPS can provide such help when driving a car. Thus, no matter where we are traveling today, in most parts of the world, we have various means or devices which can show us the way to reach our destination.
This is not the case, however, in many of our other difficult life situations, involving challenging confrontations or dilemmas, or perhaps conflicts, where knowing or seeing a way out is difficult and not obvious. Even if the solution may be beyond our own abilities to work through, our best first step in the right direction is often to concieve of a clear "end" or "goal" that we wish as an outcome. For example, if we can set a positive goal in a situation, such as finding a "loving resolution," or achieving a “win-win”, or dediding that no matter what happens, to “act with compassion,” what to do in the moments which follow becomes much clearer. If at the outset of any endeavor, especially, if we go into a new situation with a clear goal, the path to that goal is revealed to us step-by-step. Perhaps not all at once, but with a good internal compass, we generally know in our hearts when and if we are veering off path. We also know when to ask questions, what kind of question will be most effective in helping us reach our desired outcome, and if and when to seek help, if needed.
Perhaps our confusion arises more from not knowing
“what we want” versus not knowing “what to do”.
When certain problems arise, we may not have the knowedge or skillful means to attain our goals. At such times, clarity about what we want, and persistent seeking, can eventually bring us the tools or additional help we need to reach our desired ends. My persistent search in life for greater happiness, love, and peace led me to learning more and more tools for healing, such as meditation, yogic cleansing techniques, mantras, and wisdom teachings. On my own, these proved somewhat effective. But the intensity of my longing and self-efforts eventually led me to the rare gift of finding an Enlightened Spiritual Master. She guided me and provided incredible help, lightening my inner burden, and teaching me both inner and outer tools to consistently clear away the darkness I encountered along my spiritual journey. It is with Her continued guidance, greater awakening, clarity, and these tools that I have been able to help so many others with their difficult life challenges.
Ammachi “The Holy Mother”
