“Why Am I Here?”
I’ve had several healing clients who had been living with chronic pain and emotional suffering, with little hope from traditional medicine and other alternative therapies they tried, mention to me that they really had no idea of “Why they were here”, and even “What is the purpose of human life?” Perhaps some of us have even found ourselves asking these questions at difficult junctures in our lives, or when faced with times of great challenges.
Whatever life situations stir such questions, it may be helpful to relate a brief story, which can illustrate some ways how many of us react to dire or overwhelming circumstances in which we find ourselves in life. In this story, let’s imagine three people mysteriously wake up in a strange cavern cell, enclosed by prison bars…
The first person who awakens angrily starts yelling, “Who put us here? I demand to know why we are here! Who is responsible for this! You can’t do this to us -- show yourself! I want answers!!!”
The second person wakes and begins crying in utter turmoil, “Ahhh! Oh, no! What’s happening? Have we’ve died and gone to hell? This is a total nightmare — I can’t handle this! We’re all doomed? No, no, no … !”
The third person awakens and begins intently examining every inch of the surroundings, carefully looking everywhere all around, and says, “How do we get out? This cannot be our fate -- I’m not going to accept this… There has to be a way out of this place -- and I’m going to find it!”
Perhaps this imaginary scene demonstrates the kinds of reactions many of us have when life brings us severe failures, overwhelming challenges, painful break-ups, losses of loved ones, or bitter disappointments. We may even feel such reactions to a lesser degree following the disillusionment of a spiritual or mid-life crisis, or when we more clearly awaken to the realization that more possessions, more money, more sex, more power, more relationships, ‘more-more-more’ is never going to really ever satisfy us.
I suggest to clients, that it makes sense, that no matter where we find ourselves -- in whatever situation, or in whatever realm in which we awaken
(be it in life or in an afterlife) -- the best thing we can do is not only work to improve our OUTER circumstances, but also work to improve our minds.
Why postpone experiencing peace, love, and even joy, until we are finally satisfied with our how our outer life situation has changed? What better way is there to occupy our time, now, than to not delay happiness any longer? Kids certainly do not wait to find their outer happiness. Even in the midst of having to surrender to the control of others, and constantly have to accept activities and outside circumstances which are less than desirable, they manage to vent their upset feelings and return to a state of lightheartedness and joy!
So, I suggest to my clients, in the face of their pain, instead of engaging in a philosophical and religious discussion of who or what may be behind us being here, and why were we ever created, that it may be better to direct our attention toward looking at what can we actually DO about our present situation, and the condition we find ourselves in. Even if we haven’t been able to find a way to change our outer situation, if we feel overwhelmed, burdened, fearful, tired, stressed, frustrated, angry, or upset, we can ask, “What can we do about this?” The world’s fastest healers – young children – innately and spontaneously deal with these kinds of feelings all the time, and within minutes, they manage to completely let go of all that is upsetting them.
When we were children, some of us were fortunate to grow up in families which permitted or encouraged us to vent our upset feelings. But even if we were allowed to express our emotions at a young age, as we grew older, eventually we were forced to stop this. Usually after about 16 or so years of strong conditioning, children who originally knew how to self-heal through venting their feelings, lose this ability in the process of becoming ‘socialized’. In place of healing, they learn to suppress and deny their feelings, and wear an outwardly socially acceptable ‘mask’.
For others of us who were less fortunate as children, born into families with parents who didn’t have the patience or understanding to allow their children to sufficiently vent their upsets, we may have had to learn to stuff and bury our feelings -- even at a very young age. If this had been the child rearing style for generations, we probably also inherited large amounts of unhealed wounds from many relatives who preceded us, who also compartmentalized and repressed their unhealed emotional pain too.
I’ve found that the vast majority of the clients I work with who have suffered chronic physical or emotional pain, have had such pasts with a difficult family upbringing, early repression of their feelings, and often challenging emotional burdens that have been passed from generation to generation. The stored emotional burdens which people carry can be held as areas of pain and physical tension in the body, and can even later manifest as chronic physical or mental illness or disease.
In my family, for example, one of my great grandmothers lived with a lot of rage, judgment, and frustration. Her son, my grandfather, under the burden of his mother’s judgment and displeasure, developed a hatred toward women, and carried a lot of this rage into his nuclear family. He was abusive, a compulsive yeller, and mistreated his wife, my grandmother. His undigested rage passed on from him to the people around him, and my mother then carried it into our family. She was what I called a “rage-a-holic”. There was always yelling in my home, and fighting between my parents... Under these conditions, and with such role models, a lot of fighting also erupted between my two brothers and I, and I experienced a lot of rage – and eventually depression – which overwhelmed me from my teenage years into my early thirties.
Such familial patterns as these tend to persist and be further passed on, until someone stops just tolerating them — and mechanically passing them on — and eventually begins to untangle, digest, and fully heal them. Even just one person, coming to the spiritual path or doing a suitable amount of inner work, can heal generational patterns which were deeply set in their family. If this person is fortunate enough to also come into the healing sphere of an Enlightened Spiritual Master, there is incredibly greater amounts of healing which can brought to their immediate family members and entire family lineage!
A famous Spiritual Teacher, Shree Anandi Ma says, that if you attain liberation in this life, it will beneficially affect up to 21 generations (of those family members who preceded you or will succeed you), and your parents will also get enlightened too!
According to the teachings of Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, and even the “Kabbalah” of esoteric Judaism, which propose the doctrine of re-incarnation, it is believed we come back many lifetimes on Earth in order for our souls to grow and evolve. If so, in each lifetime, we are faced with digesting and dissolving the unhealed emotional burdens we encounter in the midst of our new family, their ancestral lineage, and the often-challenging circumstances of the new life. This is a monumental task.
So even while following our natural instincts to work to better our outer circumstances, if realize our goal in life is to find happiness – it may not come until we can embrace and accept who we are and our present life situation as it is. Achieving happiness requires us to learn greater acceptance of ourselves, and also greater understanding and compassion for those people around us.
In many of the above religions, it is said that lasting happiness and total Liberation of the soul will only come when we have grown to unconditionally love ourselves, our world, and all beings without exception. On the spiritual path, people who experience what is considered ‘enlightenment’ or ‘awakenings’ within their personal bubbles, usually fall short of being able to see total perfection and beauty in all beings. This would require embracing all of the challenging and varied personality attributes and emotional patterns of all humankind. If we achieve unconditional love for all beings, the deepest realization that we are all ‘enlightened’, ‘all divine’, and ‘all one’ dawns, and this has been what has been described as full Liberation (or Moksha, in sanskrit). This is a state of the highest level of “Enlightenment,” or “Awakening,” and it is said that only a very few rare beings in the world have attained such a state of love, freedom and awareness!
“Samsara” - refers to the ongoing cycles of birth & death; “Moksha” is getting off the wheel, achieving release and ‘liberation’ from this cycle.
Avatar Meher Baba explained that at all times in the world, in all ages, there are 56 Enlightened (God-Realized) teachers, but only 5 fully Liberated beings in existence.
I believe today that one of the fully Liberated Spiritual Masters in our world is Ammachi (The Holy Mother). On occasion, She has described Herself as a “big boat” who can take many people across “the ocean of worldly life and suffering (samsara).” Amma explains that for Her disciples, She is willing take on 90% of our total karmic burden, while leaving just 10% for us to work on. This 10% will ultimately make us stronger, wiser, and able to deal with more of our life challenges. On the other hand, if we had to deal with the totality of our karma, we would be overwhelmed and crushed by its weight, complexity, and immensity.
Ammachi (Mata Amritanandamayi)
Thus, even in this present lifetime, if we find a fully Liberated Spiritual Master, and are willing to work diligently under such a Teacher, perhaps some of us will have the means to totally dissolve the rest of our karmic burdens. This ends the roller coaster of suffering and the burdens which inevitably come with each new lifetime. When the soul reaches its fullest potential and freedom, the growth required through recurring cycles of birth and death are no longer needed
Sri Karunamayi, another living Teacher whom I believe is a fully Liberated Spiritual Master, has told a few people whom I personally know, that in this life they will attain ‘Freedom’ (from the cycle of birth & death), and that this will be their last lifetime! She has offered such a blessing after what I believe is really only a minimal amount of work, on our parts, in the face of what other great beings throughout history have had to endure and face. Such a great blessing can only be given by only a few of the highest level Spiritual Masters in this world.
I wish, pray, and daily work for the ‘end of suffering’ for many more beings — and especially for all of my brothers and sisters on the path, who have so much desire to grow spiritually and who are engaged in doing so much regular inner spiritual work. If we also actively receive blessings, “Darshan", and divine help from Spiritual Masters, it is possible we can find ultimate peace, love, and joy in this lifetime!
(Please see the blog post, “Opportunities For Daily Blessings & Darshan”, in order to see how we can receive regular blessings from several Spiritual Masters who make themselves available on-line, or in-person at programs around the world today!)
