What Is Surrender—Actually?
Most of us have an idea of surrender which involves letting go, stepping out of the way, allowing whatever will be to be, placing trust in God or a higher power, being passive vs. resistive and aggressive, etc. But perhaps this is only a partial understanding of what it is to surrender. Ammachi (The Holy Mother) says, “When complete surrender finally dawns, Liberation comes.” So let us look more deeply at the Idea of surrender, to better see what we may be able to do, to perhaps take us closer to an experience of such total freedom that great Masters speak of and enjoy.
If we have truly tried to practice surrender, we’ve probably become better at letting go of some degree of our needing to “control” – and maybe placing more of our trust in the Divine. But when we observe ourselves during certain challenging predicaments, or examine most of our relationships more deeply, or look at the extent of the judgement and inner fights which we haven’t let go of, the level of our ‘true’ surrender definitely comes into question.
True surrender is tested daily, by our ability to find freedom, love, and joy under each of the circumstances which we are presented with. Being happy or at peace in our own personal bubble is much easier than finding happiness with something directly in front of us which challenges us or pushes our buttons. This is why many yogis prefer caves to doing spiritual practices in the world.
In a talk by one of Ammachi’s head Swami’s, I heard Him say, “Surrender is an active process.” This is to say, we must actively work in our lives to find peace, love, and joy. They don’t come by passively sitting back and letting go, but we can reach these goals through actively and intentionally facing our challenges fully.
I often provide the example of a man by the name of Mr. Jones, who has had a cat phobia for most of his life, and who is slowly – and unconsciously -- narrowing his lifestyle more and more to avoid going outside of his home and potentially having to encounter a cat. While he may feel that finding peace through his unconscious attempts at avoidance is just fine, Mr. Jones doesn’t find peace and realize all the freedom and joy he has been sacrificing along the way, until he sits down with a psychologist who makes him fully face his fears, through several sessions of progressive "Exposure Therapy."
Virtual Reality Exposure Therapy
The psychologist’s role in this story is actually replaced by The Spiritual Master in our lives. After coming to a Spiritual Master, we are asked to have at least the faith of a mustard seed, and then we can move mountains. Like a high level athlete, approaching a coach, asking for help to achieve an even higher goal – such as an Olympic gold medal -- the athlete is going to have to submit to unlearning some of what they know, receiving a lot of sculpting from the coach, and to upping their practice on their own. While actually many people in the world have won Olympic gold medals, throughout history it has been a much rarer accomplishment to achieve God Realization and Liberation.
So waving the white flag, and letting go may be a good first step, but true surrender requires “work” -- actually actively facing what challenges our peace, love, and joy, and keeping it in front of us while letting go of all that arises. I give my clients self-healing processes which bring them through a step-by-step means to achieve surrender. However, in using our other tools — such as mantras, ceremonial worship, forms of transformational meditation, and practices given by Spiritual Masters — we can also achieve true surrender if we are really self-honest, and we do not stop until we’ve reach our desired goals. Young children demonstrate this so clearly in not stopping crying or venting, until they return to their highly desired state of light heartedness, joy, and sparkling love. They are an example of what our true surrender can look like, and feel like, if we don't stop until we've achieve it! ✨🌈💞🌈💞🌈✨
